ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
