The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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