She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
