Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
