Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
