An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
