dude i'm inner monologue high
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
