ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
