We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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