elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
