Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
