Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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