names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
