so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
