I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We are all done wearing pants today
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
