i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
