my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize