somebody snuck up and got me drunk
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
