New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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