party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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