I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
