She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
