I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
