My Higher Power is John Stamos
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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