he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
