Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
time to smoke my breakfast
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize