We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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