Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
vagina is talking i cant
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
