There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
