First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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