the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
