Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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