I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
