It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
