ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
