called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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