hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
