i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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