Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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