You made me cry and you don't even care
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
