At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
