thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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