Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
