I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
