I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it's great music for shaving your balls
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
