This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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