He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Randomize
