I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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