Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
