**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
BRING THE BAGELS
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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