Fuck appropriateness.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
