he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
