why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
