i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
