dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i believe in u and ur pee
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
