That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
