So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
