He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
