If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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