i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
