maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
