dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Your dad touched me again.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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